Those "Wow" Moments

Today on my way to gym I had one of those "holy crap I live in Belgium" moments. As we crossed the river, I saw the trees with their beautiful colors and fallen leaves on the ground around them. We passed the statues and the rails had gold designs on them and it hit me - I'm living in a foreign country, learning a foreign language, and experiencing authentic native things. How did I get so lucky? I will admit, last week was extremely hard, but I can't deny the fact that I'm still astonished that I get the opportunity to live here. As I battle with little choices like asking a question, or studying this or that, I get overwhelmed. But when I have those "wow" moments, those moments of unbelief, it makes it all worth it. Building relationships with natives, no matter how hard it may be some days, is so worth it. And I find that every time I try to carry on a conversation, I feel more satisfied at the end of the day. Knowing that I can make myself understood (even if it's not right) is one of the most satisfying feelings. Every time I speak, I can find something to fix, but the fact that I'm trying, is enough. I've gotten to the point where I can tell when I said something wrong, but can't always figure out why, I'm starting to be able to apply a few conjunction rules, and I'm able to understand more in class.  There's still a few days where I just can't focus and I'm too tired to try as hard as I'd like. But I can always find a reason to smile through it. 

Today I am thankful for the little moments. 

A Day in the Life of an Exchange Student

There are some days where I find it so hard to stay positive even though it seems like I can barely float in this thing called life, and there are some days where I can't help but smile from ear to ear because I've understood more than the day before.

I'm not one to fall into homesickness often, but there are days where I just miss comfort. Where I miss buying Sweet Tea from Mcalisters, or a Peppermint Hot Chocolate from Starbucks, and getting in my car with the windows rolled down and the music turned up as I drive through the countryside. There are moments where I miss coming home from my school to my moms hugs or my dads jokes. There are days where I miss all the easy busyness I found myself in 99% of the time. But most of all, I miss not feeling like a burden. 

There are some days where I can get around by myself, talk effectively, and feel motivated to understand. There are days where I don't miss anything about Texas. There are days where I can already feel how hard it's going to be when I have to leave. And there are days where I get so attached and feel so much love for the people around me. 

For those of you that know an exchange student or will know one in the future, here's some tips:

1. Do not, under any circumstances, call them lazy, stupid, or accuse them of not trying "hard enough". This doesn't help with language improvement especially when it is obvious that we're trying. Chances are we actually do understand what you're saying and are too nice to stand up for ourselves. 

2. Ask them what is normal in their native country and then try to do some of those things occasionally. If it's a hug, give them a hug. If it's bisous, give them a bisous. If it's just sitting down and trying to talk in their native language, just try. We try so hard and it'd be nice to have you try as well. 

3. Don't ignore them when they ask a question. I understand how hard it is to be patient, but take a second to put yourself in their shoes. When they're obviously trying, help them. 

4. Compliments mean the world to them.

5. Let them talk to you even if they mess up. I promise they're trying. 

6. Encourage them. A simple, "I like your hair today" or a, "I like you" is what keeps us going when we feel so frustrated.

7. Never laugh at them or comment on the fact that they call your home their home. They're in a foreign country and they desperately need to feel at home somewhere. 

8. Probably the most important; never talk about them in third person. We understand our name being said even if we don't understand what's being said about us and it brings anxiety. 

I'm being brutally honest. I've never claimed to be anything but. 

Here's a little excerpt from a day in the life of an exchange student: we wake up to get ready for another day in a place where we don't understand anything, where the people aren't those that have stood by us the longest, and the frustration builds by the second. At the same time, we wake up to face a new day full of adventures that could change the course of the rest of our lives. We eat breakfast and prepare enough food to keep our brains running, because without food we can't opporate (attention; you can't get too much or they'll talk about how much you eat which will lead to body image issues). You go in to school to do something that was once so foreign and is now normal. You ask how people are and are genuinely interested in finding out about their lives. You sit through hours of draining classes where you don't understand what homework the teacher assigned or find out about the test until the next class which is when it was due. You rush through your lunch and sit through more draining hours of school with people asking you questions and looking at you like you're stupid when it takes you 30 seconds to reply to a simple question because you're too tired to reply quickly. You sit through hours of a group of people talking when it's easier to make progress with just one or two people. After you rush home to sit down and study for another hour only to find out that it's actually doing no good. You juggle what battles you want to fight that day (homework, exercising, skype, studying, Rotary meetings/expectations, etc). You sit through hours of things with people that you've known for just a few months and it becomes excruciatingly painful how much of a foreigner you really are. When you finally get to the end of the day, you collapse into bed exhausted and frustrated 90% of the time. The rare 10% of the time, you go to bed feeling satisfied and knowing you made the best of the day and lived every moment to its fullest. 

After all of the physical demands of exchange, you get into the emotional demands of exchange. Juggling host families, friends, Rotary, and people back home is ridiculously stressful and overwhelming. Often times, exchange students get worn out more from the emotional demands of exchange than the physical demands. Exchange is no joke, and for those of you that think it's like a vacation, you're wrong. Exchange is one of the most demanding - yet best - years of your life all in one. That's why we do it. That's why we battle every day to live and to learn a new language in a place that couldn't be father from "home". And that's why we're ok with leaving our friends and family to experience the joy and pain (and joy) of exchange. 

I can honestly say that one of the hardest moments of my exchange so far was when one of my Belgian friends commented on how bad I speak in French. I hear those words over and over again as I go through the hourly battle of trying to focus and learn, and it is so discouraging. And no matter how many people say in a surprised voice, "oh she speaks well," I can still hear that one "no" in my head. I would've thought that by now it would be obvious how hard I am trying to understand and learn. I long for the day when I will be able to speak fluently and effectively so badly, but I realize that day will come with time. 

When they talked about the bond between exchange students, I never understood it. I expected to come to Belgium and have more Belgian friends than exchange friends, but that didn't happen. It's next to impossible to understand what we struggle with daily if you've never been through it yourself. And that is why we have such an unbreakable bond.

My God is bigger than a language barrier. He's bigger than a culture barrier. And He's way bigger than my fear and discouragement. And that is why I choose to fight to understand every single day. He is glorified through it all.  

Also, here's a picture describing what I wish I could say sometimes. Enjoy 😊