Reliance = Joy

Yesterday was my first official day of school and let's just say... It didn't go well. 

I set my alarm for 6:00 and woke up at 7:35 to my host brother knocking on my door to ask what I wanted for breakfast... I jumped out of bed and threw clothes on faster than I've ever done before and walked out the door as I chugged my coffee. Needless to say, that's not the best way to start your first day of school in a foreign country. We pulled up to the school and booked it only to wait around with friends that I still didn't know. 

Français was my first class and my teacher talked about what books we'd be reading and talk quickly with slurred words. I understood a little, but not much. 

My second class was Biology and my teacher was awesome. I could understand most of what she was saying and was able to identify words like "chromosomes" which made me really relieved. 

Then came Religion class... I'm the only Protestant at my school so I could choose to take a Protestant class but it would just be me and the professor and I'm not sure how I feel about that... So I went with Vincent and Fiona to the Catholic class and the teacher just about scared the bajesus out of me. He talked so fast and didn't enunciate his words at all which made it impossible to understand him. Then he would ask me questions and get annoyed at how I couldn't understand immediately after so he'd ask in broken English with a raised voice, "where es u from!?" And I would answer in a quiet voice, "Texas..." I left that class stressed and hung out to dry. 

Then came Geography. My professor asked where I was from so I told her and she made the stink on a bug face and said "oh Texas accent is terrible" and immediately stopped talking to me. She then continued to talk about me to he people next to me and when I laughed at something she said she looked shocked that I could understand what she was saying. No I don't understand much, but give me a few key words and I can get the jist.  

Math came next... My friends asked me if I understood the equation on the board and I did a little, but not fully. So that caused some problems. I'm not sure if the words were just different and I really do understand, or if I just haven't learned them yet. Later that night my host mom asked if I wanted to switch to a lower math class but to do so I would have to get out of all the classes I'm in now and start over on making friends so I opted out of that. 

My last class of the day was Physics. I don't know how to write in French yet so I always look at my friends paper next to me and see what they've written. So when the professor looked at me and asked why I was "copying" my friends explained that I was an exchange student and he just let me do my thing. After class he came up and asked if I had "déjà-vu" which is a way of asking if I'd already done the class or not. I told him I hasn't and explained that before Monterey I was homeschooled and science classes were difficult. He was very nice and told me that I was welcome to come in any time I needed help. 

When we got in the car to go home, my body went limp. I was exhausted and frustrated with myself. I thought I was doing better with my French, but every time I think that I get proved wrong. When we finally got home I told them I was going to take a nap and collapsed on my bed. Then the tears came. And the fear. And the "why did you choose me." And the "I can't do this."  And in that broken moment, I sobbed about how much I needed Christ to take me over and show me more of His heart, and He wrapped me in His arms and carried me. After spending an hour and a half in my room (the first time I've locked myself in my room), I was able to pull myself together and go down stairs with a little bit of hope. 

Later that night I went to a dance class. I've never realized just how much I love dancing until that night. Dance is a universal language and "5, 6, 7, 8" is so comforting to hear. I was able to get in it and let go of the stress from the day and by the time I got home, I was happy and laughing again. 

After dinner I talked to my host family and we played Skip-Bo. It's awesome to see the difference from the first week when I would just sit in silence and watch them make fun of each other, to this week where I was able to do the same in my broken Franglish. My host mom taught me some words in Italian (because my host families Italian so they know Italian) and it was one of my favorite memories so far. :)

Today at school I made a bunch of new friends, which I'm very thankful for, and overall it was a fantastic day. :)  

My first class was English. My teacher is fantastic and so sweet. Just being around her and listening to her talk is so encouraging! She's one of those people that is so confident in who they are that they give you confidence when you're around them. It was extremely helpful to be able to understand but also slightly different since they teach British English, not American English. 

After English I went back to Relgion. My professor asked what we believe in and what we don't believe in and a lot of people said they believed in the scientific method. Obviously I said I believe in Jesus and it got a little awkward but c'est pas grave. I can handle awkward. Then when we got to what we don't believe, a lot of people said the resurrection. They said, "c'est impossible." And went on to say how there's no way that could ever be practical. The professor had pulled out a catholic bible at one point so when he got to me I asked if I could see it and I turned to Philippians 4:13. It was different so I said, "c'est différent. I believe that the bible is true, and Philippians 4:13 says that nothing is impossible with God, so I believe that." It got so tense. He kept asking me to expand and I was thinking "I can't I have limited vocab dude!" But I did my best and we left the class with me saying that. Next week I'm switching to "Moral" which is where all the atheists are so I won't have to see that professor again. But I hope that one word of what I said today sunk in with just one person in that class. The first guy that said he didn't believe in the resurrection was one of my first friends outside of Vincent's normal friends. I really like him and we had a good conversation after school yesterday and he was extremely helpful cuz I was fried yesterday. How ironic.

Then came Italian. I'm in the language school which means that I'm taking a bunch of language classes (obviously) and I jumped into the second year of Italian. So I missed all the basics, but it sounds like we hear in movies which is very helpful!

Last was Gym class which actually ended up being really good! I was able to show them the little bit I know about volleyball, run faster than the people around me, and teach them some Texan dances. I was able to talk to them and build relationships with people that I was too afraid to yesterday. 

I'm so thankful that I have this opportunity to be in such an amazing place and put my faith to the test. It hasn't been easy, and it won't get any easier, but it's so worth it and I'm loving every second of this incredible journey. :) 

Continued prayers for the language barrier and peace would be greatly appreciated. And for everyone reading this, you are in my prayers. Go be bold, friends. 

Until next time - à tout-à-l'heure

KP