They Call This "Limbo"

When my Rotex told me about "language headaches" I never could've imagined how intense those "headaches" could get. After staying home for three days from school because I was sick, I had the worst language headaches I've ever experienced. I'd start the day out extremely motivated and thinking, "yes! I can do this! I can learn another language!" and by the end of the day I would be thinking, "I just want to sleep. Is there chocolate around? What a pretty leaf." and I'd fall into my bed as soon as I got home. I thought I had realized and surpassed the discouragement that comes from trying to rush into understanding a language, but after I forced myself to study an extra two hours after school yesterday, and didn't remember a thing I had studied, I realized how important time is. To add onto all of that, it's almost like not having a language. Speaking English is hard, speaking French is hard. Neither are easy, neither make sense. There comes a time when the "limbo" happens and there are no languages that make sense or click. I leave school exhausted and tired of trying to understand French, just to feel even more exhausted when I try to understand English. It's funny to me when I think about the way we form sentences, and the way they form sentences, and honestly neither one makes much sense at the moment. There is so much beauty in that struggle, but it is exhausting.

The other day I had my first allergy scare. Looking back now, it's rather humorous to think about! My host mom is an amazing cook, and I absolutely adore my host family. They are so helpful with so many things, and I honestly don't think I could've gotten any luckier with my first host family. One night Franca made pasta, which is a normal occurrence since my host family is Italian, and I ate it expecting everything to be alright. After a couple of bits, I realized that I couldn't feel my tongue and stopped eating. Me being me, I didn't say anything right away because I thought it might go away after I had some water, but eventually I asked Franca what it is and she told me. I nervously told them, "I think I might be allergic haha" and Vincent looked up a picture of the unknown ingredient (cashews). Yup. I was allergic! My mind said, "whale, are you ready for this little adventure, Kaitlyn?" and I started laughing at myself. I went up to my room, able to breathe just a little less than I could with my mild case of Bronchitis, and came down with my Epi Pen. I explained to Franca what had to be done, in a language I can barely understand, as I was trying to remain calm and laugh at myself - all at the same time. The whole ordeal actually ended up being a huge blessing, because while I had felt at home with my host family, this made them feel like my real family. And I realize that even though I'm only here for a year, this experience and these people will go with me through the rest of my life because of what I experience here. There's no way I can leave not changed. These people are my family, and a part of my heart will always be here because of it.

Rotary took us to see one of the military bases here and it was so cool to think about how much history is here. As we walk through Liege, meeting  people from all around the world, and building memories, I can't help but be blown away by the historic beauty of this place. Everyday is a struggle, and everyday is a beautiful adventure.